Missing Memory
by RiddleMeNew
Summary: Seventh Book. While Harry looks at Snape's memories, a memory pops up that Severus definitely didn't approve. Harry wasn't supposed to know just how much Lily's reaction affected his Professor's sanity at the time.


Harry was confused. He had just witnessed Snape's memory of when his mother refused to forgive him. The scene had begun to fade out into a new one but then suddenly cleared up to reveal the same scene. What the...?

Harry looked closer at the fifteen year old Snape. Yeah. It was definately the same one. He had the same hopeless look on his face. Harry looked around to see if maybe something else had changed when he heard footsteps. He turned and saw Snape running down the stairs. Harry followed him all the way to the Slytherin Common Room.  
"Password?" asked Slazar's portrait.

"Parsletounge!" Snape sobbed out. It wasn't to that moment, did Harry notice that Snape was outright crying, not holding anything back.

The portrait swung open and Snape ran through the common room, his head down. There were a few cries of 'Severus!' but he didn't stop and neither did Harry. Snape didn't stop till he reached his dorm(which was empty), locked the door and cast a silencing charm. And it was then that Harry noticed that he was wrong.

Snape had been holding back his tears. The tears and the look on his face that his world had just ended was just what had manged to slipped through.

But now he wasn't holding anything back. He crumpled on the floor sobbing and screaming and tearing at his hair.

And then suddenly he stopped and was staring at his wrist. Harry - who had temporarily forgotten that he wasn't really there and had assumed the worst - was about to sprint out the door to get someone, when he noticed just what Snape was staring at. It was a small bracelet around his wrist that read 'S&L BFFs'.

"No..." Snape said aloud. "Not anymore... She can't stand me. Can't be bothered to speak with me. Look at me." The way he said it was the way Herminone recited a fact from a book. As if it was the complete and utter truth.

Harry just watched Snape stare into space.

"She doesn't love me. Probably never did. She's left me. Gone for that Potter Prat I bet. Even though I had been there from the beginning... Even though she was all I had..." That train of thought would've infuriated Harry had he been in Snape's position. For Snape however, It seemed to drive him even more into depression.

Snape stood and walked over to his bag and slipped his hand in.

"No point, is there?" Snape said aloud in an empty voice. He pulled out one of those daggers they used in Potions. 'He's going to brew a potion?' Harry pondered.

"No proper reason to live anymore." The only potion Harry could think of that could help Snape with that would be the Draught of the Living Dead but that was sixth year work...

As Snape brought the dagger to his neck the truth became horrifyingly clear to Harry.

"NO!" He shouted - once agian forgetting this was just a memory - just as Snape swiped the dagger along his throat.

"-cking the bleddy door." One of Snape's roommates stated opening the door just in time to see the spray of red burst from Snape.

"SEVERUS!" the boy - Mulciber, Harry noticed - shouted as Snape fell to the ground.

"What the fu- Oh Merlin!" Arvey shouted followed by a boy that reminded Harry of Nott.

"Don't just stand there!" Mulciber shouted. Arvey ran to one of the beds and yanked the emerald sheet off of it and handing it to him.

"Damn that Mudblood..." he muttered once the other had managed to somewhat bandage Snape's neck.

"What does she have to do with this?" Mulicber asked, his face an odd mix of fury and confusion.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Nott in a furious whispher.

"Isn't what obvious?" Mulciber asked the confusion growing.

The scene began to blur as Snape's eyes finally fluttered closed. The scene blurred until Harry couldn't see anyone and could only hear the hate filled tone of Nott answer Mulciber's question.

"She didn't forgive him."

**The scene changed.**

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**AN: So what do you think? If you guys like it I'll make it a story. It'd be a Lily/Snape told from their POV. **


End file.
